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Are You Connected?

Today, let’s start with Hebrews 10:25 (NIV), 

 “not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

Gathering together, building relationships, and encouraging one another are essential. You learn from the good and bad in relationships and get to see your flaws – so you can grow. If you stay isolated, you don’t see them. This happens in sports or work – where we do it alone, we believe we’ve gotten good at it, but we need to learn from a team to be stretched and grow. 

According to the most recent Barna report The younger generation (Gen Z) is the most educated generation, but yet the most lonely.

In Acts chapter 2, immediately after the Holy Spirit poured out and 3000 new believers were added to the Church, they immediately connected with one another daily by eating together, fellowshipping, praying, and studying the apostles’ teaching. They did this together, house to house and in the temple.

I want to summarize an article by Dr. John Delony. His points make a lot of sense when building the body of Christ. 

1. We are losing real human connection to a world of digital hearts and emojis. According to 2019 Cigna stats, three in five Americans described themselves as lonely, and that was before the pandemic. A 2020 Harvard survey found that things are getting worse—especially among new moms and young adults, with five to six out of 10 admitting they were “miserably” lonely. That’s a scary thought. 
2. We are facing a social epidemic of loneliness, and it’s killing us from addiction to sickness to anxiety. 

The article goes on to share that human connection happens when two or more people engage in interactions where each of them is heard, seen, known, and valued. And more importantly you feel better after being together. We see this represented in the movie Avatar. But those types of relationships take vulnerability – allowing others to accept and challenge you. Connection is a mindset. You can gauge where you are with connections by how you treat lifetime relationships, your kids, your spouse, and even those you meet at the grocery store. 

Do you make it a point to see and value others? And do you let others see, know, love, and appreciate you?  When we were planting this church, we looked at values. And the value of a soul stood out to us. Each one of us is made in the image of God. God didn’t make a mistake. A lack of connection with God fuels the lack of identity we see in the world today. 

How do you identify with God? Because you need to see yourself the way He sees you to see others the way He sees them. We need to slow down so that this can happen. We go too fast to cultivate relationships or take the time to ask what’s going on in someone’s life. 

Do you look family and close friends in the eye when you tell them you love them and are proud of them?

You may not have come from a family that did this. But that doesn’t mean you can’t grow from it and see the Father’s heart in the right relationships and spending time with God. Some generations are so broken, and they need connectivity at the table. Doesn’t loving someone the way Jesus does, mean taking the time to know, love and accept who they are?

Dr. Delony states in the article, “For your closest relationships, I like to sum it up this way: Human connection is being fully known and fully loved.”

That means you need to dig below the surface.

So let’s list and study some of the critical points that he lists. This is what human connection isn’t:

1. Human connection isn’t perfect and comfortable. Sooner or later, you’re going to mess up and be disappointed, which can be a good thing. It’s an opportunity to grow alongside that person. 
2. Human connection is not digital. Social platforms can act as a starting point or provide information updates; they don’t allow for depth and can be dangerous. 
3. Human connection is not an exchange of information. Texting isn’t a replacement for an intimate, connected experience.
4. Human connection is not one-sided. It’s transformational when people want to engage and that takes two or more people wanting that. 
5. Human Connection doesn’t take place in an echo chamber. We need people who differ from us to grow.
6. Human connection is not proximity. You can be close to someone physically but not be connected to them. All married couples know that the space between you in bed can feel.

And here’s how he shares human connection happens.

1. Human connection is something that can be cultivated and practiced. Just because it may be difficult for you doesn’t mean you’re left to live that way. You just need to be willing to learn and practice. 
2. Human connection means taking a risk. That’s always where it starts – being present with another person without distraction.
3. Human connection is active work. But it’s a life-giving, soul-filling kind of work where you are saying, “I’m sorry,” “It’s ok” and, “we can do this!”

Dr. Delony ends the article with ideas on how to do this. And we can all learn from these points.   

1. Take care of yourself. We can’t connect with people when our past weighs us down. We must take time to heal ourselves, starting with our relationship with Jesus, to properly connect with others. 
2. Schedule time with people and make it a priority. Quality time has to happen more than once a year. Pick up your phone, call someone, and plan to be in person together. Connect on a smaller basis – one on one and in small groups. 
3. Put your screens down. Technology can often be counterproductive to connection. You may use it at work, but are you using it to fill your down time too?
4. Look people in the eye. Eye contact is a powerful way to create connection.
5. Ask questions, listen, then ask more questions. When people are talking to you, pay attention. Listen. Ask follow-up questions. Be willing to learn more about others and to go below the surface.  
6. When appropriate, be physically affectionate. Of course, it needs to be appropriate but ask for permission to hug someone. Cuddle with your family on the couch. As humans we need that connection.
7. Extend grace and forgiveness. Forgive often. Be kind. Extend grace and compassion. Redemption is the best part of every good story.
8. Be an involved member of groups that matter to you. We want you to be involved in the church family. Follow the interests that connect you to a group of people you care about, be engaged, and let your walls down.

We need each other, and this church needs you. If you stay out by yourself, you aren’t connected and using your gifts. When the church is doing its job, we use everyone’s gifts. Let’s reach the lonely generation. Let’s make a difference in their lives. We need to connect offline. Let’s study the points above and be intentional about how we do this. 

Pray for us this weekend as we take teenagers to Recharge! Bishop Bart, our pastor, will be preaching here and I believe it’s going to be powerful. Don’t miss it!!! 

We love and appreciate you!!